Many of you may have missed the news due to some sort of election that was held recently, but on November 1, 2008, Microsoft officially stopped issuing licenses for Windows 3.x. (story via news.bbc.co.uk).  It’s EULA-gy read:

Windows 3.x required an 8086/8088 processor or better that had a clock speed of up to 10MHz. It needed at least 640KB of RAM, seven megabytes of hard drive space, and a graphics card that supported CGA, EGA and VGA graphics. Windows 3.x is survived my it children Windows 95, ME, XP and Vista (who could not be reached for comment due to compatibility issues).

I have seen reports that Windows 3.x customers everywhere are now in a state of sadness and panic. One former Windows 3.x user was detained for questioning after “allegedly” trying to bootleg the OS onto toaster ovens. Microsoft will begin forming support groups (though not technical support) for those who now believe their life is over because of the death of Windows 3.x to help them better cope with new technology.

Yes, it is a sad day indeed. Microsoft is expected to release a statement today encouraging users to make the leap and upgrade to Windows 95 and regrets to inform users looking for a loophole that the downgrade option from Vista to 3.x is out of the question.

There are reports starting to surface through the interweb that Windows 3.1 will be returning to join the rock band KISS on their new tour “Yes, Retirement Still Sucks and We Know There is Still Money to Be Made Despite Current Media Induced Economic Conditions, Part IV”.

Be careful when you tweet.

Also speaking of less air pollution, it looks like Bette Midler she will be quitting touring in order to help save the planet. I completely support Bette in her decision and agree that the less of her music there is out there the better off our planet will be! Maybe some other stars will follow suit. I could list a few, but I digress.

Maybe after a hurricane this is honestly the best thing to do.

Some humor, some sadness and a lot of water.

*found via the Coaster Critic but original picture from Theme Park Review Forum.

I was already pretty bummed when Stew Smith left the band at the end of April 2008, but this doesn’t help. Delirious will continue to play their scheduled tour dates and end sometime in 2009. I know I’m behind on this, since the press release was dated June 6, 2008 but here it is:

Sunday 6th July 2008

The End of an Era……

We would like to address all our fans, our friends and people around the world who have faithfully supported Delirious?

After 14 albums, thousands of shows in front of millions of people, and many extraordinary memories, we have decided that at the end of 2009 we will take a break from recording and playing as a band.

Our decision was triggered by a request from Martin to be released from the band to pursue new projects including his work with CompassionArt and the desire to be at home more with Anna and his children. We have of course honoured this request and made a decision together that now is the time to end this chapter of our lives.

We will continue to play and be excited about our current tours and bookings but will not be adding many more over the coming 17 months..

We are all so deeply grateful to our incredible fans who have sung the songs and allowed Delirious? the privilege of providing the soundtrack to many lives over the years. From the school hall in Littlehampton to the stadiums of the world we have many stories to tell our children’s children. Delirious also would not be what it is without our amazing wives and families, and our gratitude to them is immense. We will now move forward to the next part of our lives where new challenges unfold and greater stories will be written.

We want to make it absolutely clear that although this decision has been extremely painful and difficult, we are still great friends and our respect for each other is unquestionable. We love playing in this band together and know that even though 2009 will bring an end to this current journey, there will be more adventures together in years to come.

We always used to say that we were ‘taking it wherever it goes’. The music ended up going further and deeper than we could ever have dreamed, yet we are now at a point where our creative futures will spread out and take on different journeys.

Thanks again for believing in us through all these years. We believe the best is yet to come.

Jon, Martin, Paul, Stu G and Tim

Thanks to consumingworship.org for the heads up on what I missed.

A Japanese man who was mystified when food kept disappearing from his kitchen, set up a hidden camera and found an unknown woman living secretly in his closet, Japanese media said Friday.

The 57-year-old unemployed man of Fukuoka in southern Japan called police Wednesday when the camera sent pictures to his mobile phone of an intruder in his home while he was out on Wednesday, the Asahi newspaper said on its Website.

Officers rushed to the house and found a 58-year-old unemployed woman hiding in an unused closet, where she had secreted a mattress and plastic drink bottles, the Asahi said. Police suspect she may have been there for several months, the paper said.

“I didn’t have anywhere to live,” the Nikkan Sports tabloid quoted the woman as telling police.

I am honestly not sure how you wouldn’t notice this… Just to be safe I have check all the unused areas of my home and no “guests” were found. I should mention that what the article does not tell you is that the man later remembered this woman was his wife.

Apparently, the man will walk into banks or supermarkets and find a female cashier and say “Look into my eyes”…kind of a lame pickup line, a bit overused, but then the women would hand over all their cash to the man. I really need to try this today. Plus, is it stealing if they just give you the money? hmm…

I would also suggest this for the authorities looking for this man. Let’s take a moment to look at this security camera photos…

It’s a little grainy, I know, but notice who this master of robbery looks like? I submit that he is none other than Jules Winnfield from Pulp Fiction! Look for yourself.. here is Jules in his earlier days before he discovered his “mesmerizing eyes line” only worked on women.

Now for the authorities, if there is any reward offered for this information then I’m sure you know how to get in touch with me. I’m sure Jules could and probably has used his powers for more than simple bank and store robbery…however, I do wonder if he continues to quote scripture during the events…